Closure

2005, December 29 - 10:00pm — afreytes

I'm back on track and connected although the yellow paper with PRT in the masthead has the following words marked: "You have temporary wiring; you will have permanent service in 5 days." And my wife tells me they will charge me to repair the line (and for the time that I was without service too). Isn't that sweet? Verizon is the best!

But the thoughts on my mind are all telling me to close up the blog for good... I'll explain...

I started the blog as an experiment in writing, a challenge to myself, to create unique wording. To, uh... please myself with writing. So far it has been an exciting experiment, but I feel like I've reached some denouement. I feel like I can't repeat the results of this particular experiment. The climax has long passed...

I've been also trying hard to do the best possible at the new job. That means I work long hours, hence less time to do the blog, and less energy to do it too. I also wanted to prepare a radical new look for the blog something that really ties into the digital warrior motif; that plan has also fallen by the wayside... no time to do it now...

I also feel like I don't have anything particularly positive to say. I have always thought if one does not have anything positive to say then on ought to shut up, instead I've turned the blog into an antipathy rush against everything/nothing. Leaving the government has also altered radically the need for the strange succor that writing a blog provides.

So what to do... what to do... this isn't the first time I pose myself this self/same question...

And what should I do if indeed I decide to close up shop? Delete everything and try to cover my trail? I fear the blog may someday be found by a potential customer, and then they'll decide against me on the basis of what I've written here alone. A public government client wouldn't be particularly ecstatic about some of the things I've written. Deeply religious clients are my greatest fear... it's almost funny but I keep expecting someone to start screaming and pointing their finger at me like in that science fiction movie.

It isn't that I regret writing up the blog, but I have some... uh... reservations.

The information soldier's aim is faltering...